Who I Am

Nu stiu cine sunt, dar incerc sa aflu.
M-am nascut pe 23 decembrie 1978. Iarna grea. Tata si fratele meu erau la colindat. Mama primea daruri. Sau cel putin asa-mi place sa cred.
Am inceput cu diafilme si cu pick-up. Probabil unele dintre cele mai fericite zile din viata mea. Apoi am citit. Mult. Pana in clasa a patra, premiul I. Coronita de trandafiri albi tinuta la frigider. (Peste ani, coincidenta, primei mele iubite ii placeau trandafirii albi). Mama se mandrea cu mine. Asta cand nu era musai sa fac 2-ul ca o lebada si cand nu ma punea sa mananc ciorba. Atunci ma altoia.
Fotbal vreme de 13 ani. Fara rezultate notabile, parte din cauza fizicului cam firav, parte din cauza lipsei de ambitie. Scoala s-a dus in cap. Cititul, nu. Eram cu cartile deschise si in tramvaie si cand trebuia sa invat acasa. In loc de manuale.
Scris cateva zeci de poeme. Unele decente. Primele, de toata jena.
Fotografie pe film, prin 2000. Cam 3 filme facute in vacante. N-am simtit nimic. Apoi mi-am cumparat propriul aparat, pentru o excursie in 2009, in Atena. O poza care mi-a spus ca se poate face mai mult. Si un prieten care mi-a dat incredere. Si o femeie pe care trebuia s-o uit.

(I don’t know who I am, but I am trying to find out. I was born on the 23rd of December 1978. It was a heavy winter. My father and my brother were out carol-singing. My mother was receiving gifts or, at least, that is what I like to believe :)

I started with filmstrips and vinyl discs. Those were the happiest days of my life, I think. Then I started reading. A lot. I played football for 13 years. No notable results, however, in part that was because of my frail figure and also my lack of ambition. Results at school became poor. Books, on the other hand, I loved. On the tram or at home, you could always see me reading my books instead of my textbooks. I wrote a few dozens of poems. Some of them were good. The first were truly embarrassing.
Around year 2000, I started doing film photography. Three rolls of films during the holiday. I didn’t feel a thing. Then I bought my own camera for a trip to Athens in september 2009, a digital one. I took about 300 photos. One photo told me that I can do more. And let’s not forget the friend who had enough confidence in me for both of us. Since 2010 I’ve been trying to find my way of expression with the help of photography.

Afrodita (septembrie 2009, Grecia)

Vandut repede aparatul, fiind prost, cumparat altul, in 2010, vandut si acela, exersat vreme de 2 ani, pe un Nikon D80 imprumutat. Acum un an, dupa ce am stabilit ca nu e un moft fotografia, mi-am luat un Sony Nex 5N. Excelent aparat. Si exersez in continuare. Fara sa fi mers la vreun curs, workshop sau altceva. Doar uitandu-ma la cadrele celor mari si facand. Si simtind. Si, gandind. Neaparat gandind.

Dincolo de toate acestea, povestea mea cu fotografia, cea care s-a insinuat in structura mea, cred ca isi are inceputul aici, in poza aceasta a lui Van Gogh. Stiuta fiind singura fotografie a pictorului din anii de maturitate (pana la posibila aparitiei a celei de-a doua, despre care insa nu se stie daca apartine olandezului), m-a urmarit multa vreme. As fi vrut, si banuiesc ca nu sunt singurul, sa-i vad chipul lui Van Gogh. Atunci cred ca a fost prima data, fara sa constientizez, cand am perceput puterea fotografiei, capabila sa ne poarte, in timp si spatiu, impreuna cu sentimentele si gandurile noastre, in trecut, dar purtand hainele prezentului.

Restul e, si va mai fi, pe site.

(I sold my camera fast because it was not my best choice. I bought another, in 2010, which I also sold and then I practiced, for 2 years, with a borrowed  Nikon D80. A year ago I bought a Sony Nex 5N, after I realized that photography for me is more than a whim. It proved to be an excellent camera. Now I am still practicing. I never took a photography course or went to a workshop or anything of the sort. The only exercise I made was watching the works of important photographers and practicing. And feeling. And thinking. Especially a lot of thinking.

Apart from all this, the beginning of my story as a photographer lies in this photo of Van Gogh. It was known to be Van Gogh’s only photograph from his late youth which haunted me for a long time (until the second one came along, although the latter had not been certified yet as belonging to the Dutch painter). We can see the face of Emile Bernard, but I wish I could see Van Gogh’s face, and I suppose I am not the only one. I think that was the first time I realized that photography is able to take us far in time and space, along with our feelings and thoughts. It’s like taking a trip to past times dressed in the clothes of the present.

You can find the rest of the story on my website).

Pe scurt:
Născut în 1978, 23 decembrie
Studii: Facultatea de Litere “Hyperion”
Fotografiez din 2010
Expoziţii: “Versus, dar impreuna” – Negreşti Oas 2013, Salonul Fotografului Român 2014, World Street Photography, “Street Views á-Priori” – Bucuresti 2013
Premii: Menţiune Sony World Photo Awards 2013, 2014
Apariţii în reviste: National Geographic Magazine, Mediafax Foto – Best of 2013, Photo Magazine, Featureshoot, Lenscratch, Art Photo Feature Magazine, Vice, International Street Photographer, Black & White Street Book, Lens Folio, Foto 4All, Bucureştiul meu drag
Colaborator MediafaxFoto din 2014

Emile Bernard (dreapta, cu fata) si Van Gogh (dreapta) -1886

Posibila poza a lui Van Gogh, gasita intr-un anticariat din Massachusetts si cumparata cu un dolar.